I Watch Entirely Too Much TV.

In the 5th grade, I was happily singing theme songs from TV, when my teacher said to me, "You watch entirely too much TV." I thought it was funny and that line has stuck with me ever since. Even last Wednesday night at church, there was a point in which I found myself thinking "I watch entirely too much TV". From where I was standing, I could see a gentleman who was wearing shorts and flip-flops (I go to a great, very casual church) and all I could think about was the recent episode of The Office in which Angela was grossed out by Oscar wearing sandals to work on casual Friday. I'm pretty sure I should have put forth more effort to concentrate on something else, but it was amusing to me, so I didn't really try.

Turns out my mom also watches entirely too much TV. We have over the years accumulated one-liners from movies, shows, etc. that lend much humor to our daily journey. For instance, at a place and time when I should have been much more reverent, I noticed that someone who was standing suddenly wasn't. And, instead of immediate concern, all I could think of was how funny it would be to text my mom "We have a piper down" from the movie So I Married An Axe Murderer. (I went to YouTube to put the clip here, but there's all sorts of stuff in the clip that I forgot and well, isn't suitable for my audience - just saying.) There's also the line, "A date?! Is she pretty? Is she prettier than me?!" from a program we saw when I was maybe 8 or 9 years old. That show also had a line "Is that a big enough piece of cake or what?!" which we use frequently and interchange "cake" with whatever we find to be much too large for the current situation (hair - especially bangs, etc.) Just one more - In a stand-up comedienne's monologue she talks about staying at a hotel where after requesting shampoo from the front desk, the staff member showed up at her door with handfuls of lotion and explained, "We're out of shampoo." The comedienne says, "Can't you see that no matter how many lotions you bring to me, they're still not shampoo" and later when she's out with friends, and they're commenting on how yucky her hair is, she responds, "But, feel my hands!" So, we use this one a lot too when we've asked for one specific thing and whoever was supposed to get it ended up with something else. . . .

What I'm saying is that this trouble-ticket my 5th grade teacher tried to file turns out to be one of my favorite aspects - and frankly a very entertaining part - of my relationship with my mom.

So, Happy Mother's Day. I hope you have something funny to share with your mom, too.