Manifesto

2013 is hott. Just like that. The amount of growth and beauty and joy and laughter I have experienced in the first 27 days of this year has been balm to my weary soul. It wasn't that I was dreading 2013, but I didn't have a sense of what was on God's heart for me in this year until it actually happened. It is like for the last few years I have been fighting the tide to keep my heart centered on Love, but 2013 hit and it is like I am so immersed in it that I don't have to fight for footing anymore.

I am lit up from the inside out.

So, instead of just being happy that life is sweet and joy rests on me, I want to put words and framework to what I'm feeling and how I want it to affect every person I meet, especially those that live with me and in direct relationships.

I want to write out a manifesto.

I want a declaration of my intent.

I don't have it all thought out, but it starts with this:

L O V E

I want to be so saturated (dripping) with the Love of the Father that any person who comes into contact with me, even from a distance, will be met with a deeper revelation of the Father's generous, passionate, furious love (and if the word "furious" throws you a bit, check out Brennan Manning's The Furious Longing of God).

So, that's where I am. I feel so stinkin' rich right now. I am grateful.

Grandma Dot

Tonight I am celebrating my sweet Grandma Dorothy. After many years of fighting all that comes with an Alzheimer's diagnosis, she finally is free.

I love that my sweet little Baptist grandma was met with Love face to face... No more pain, neither physical nor emotional. No more worry. No more of anything less than complete peace and joy.

I said goodbye to my grandma several years ago when she no longer knew me. I was just a sweet girl to her. I have a mental picture in my head of the last time I saw her. I'm so glad it is of her standing on the porch waving goodbye all dressed up with her hair fixed just right. She looks so healthy in my memory.

Melodic Physics

The very, very little I understand about particles and physics fascinates me... I'm not going to embarrass myself by trying to communicate what I've read because it is so far beyond the way my brain thinks, but THIS I get -

A particle has a signature and this specific particle has been the long-searched-for key to so much that physicists have been trying to unlock... and the signature has a sound - a delightful sound... It sounds like joy.

Go have a little listen:
http://soundcloud.com/theatlantictech/higgs-boson-atlas

a clever title about free ebooks

See, I am growing... It wasn't long ago that I would have not posted a blog because I'd get stuck wishing for a clever title for this post. I've grown past that now and know that content today is more important than the title.

Here is the beautiful thing I want to share with you: Amazon lists ebooks for free for a short period of time every day. There are sites that track which books are free so you don't even have to search! Since I'm a new-ish owner of a Kindle Fire and consume books like I drink Dr. Pepper (except I don't keep it in my house anymore), I've come to really appreciate this service since my budget simply cannot keep up with my reading habit.

I think these are all related somehow, but they have different books listed each day (some even morning, afternoon, and evening!).

Pixel of Ink - All kinds of books 

Pixel of Ink - Young Edition - This has been great for books for the boys. The books are categorized for age appropriateness.

Power Reads - This is a resource for non-fiction. I've enjoyed it very much!

Inspired Reads - This one lists Christian ebooks, both fiction and non-fiction.

There's also one for cookbooks - if I can find the link again, I'll update here.
EDITED TO ADD: I found it! - Dining Downloads

ENJOY! Reading is a gift!

Big is 4!

Tomorrow marks Big's 4th birthday. I'm feeling very undone over just how sweet he has made my world. I watch him observe and pick up the nuances in things going on around him. I'm still amazed that he's obedient like he is, that he responds so well, and that he loves to learn - and watches for the correct way. I remember being pregnant with him and talking to my swollen belly, telling him I didn't know how to be a mom, but he didn't know how to be a son either and that we would learn together. My heart breaks knowing I've made wrong choices, responded sharply, been impatient, fallen short, but I've also already repented to him and shown how to make things right. I've drawn him to me and told him how much I love being his momma, that he is kind and beautiful, and that I'm so proud of him. That he is my son, in whom my heart delights, marked by my love, and in him I am well pleased.

if i'm going to do it...

The thing that makes blogs fun to read is when they're regularly updated. My blog = unfun. That's a word.

This has been a sweet, sweet day. I had lunch with a woman who is so transparent and beautiful and generous and merciful all at once. Her story is one of the purest accounts of how Papa God really does love us and draws us to him.

And in talking to her I felt my heart being known. I've craved that so much - the true connection of friend to friend with no judgment, in the realness of life.

I'm committed to the journey of the destiny set before me. I am getting small glimpses of the big picture and I want to be my authentic self.

That may be all I have today, but it is more than I wrote 2 days ago.

it's her fault.

Anyone who knows me at all knows that I learned a long time ago that one cannot be manipulated unless one chooses to be manipulated. So, let's be clear... this interruption to my almost year-long hiatus in blogging is not because she manipulated me with an award - thankyouverymuch - but because I love her. Who knows why... 

You can go see just how fun she is right here at her blog (she's got the second most beautiful couple of boys - mine being numero uno). Apparently she thinks I'm fabulous and wants to know more about me.

The "Rules":

1. Post the rules on your blog.
2. Name five of your most fabulous moments, either in real life or in the blogosphere.
3. Name five things you love.
4. Name five things you hate.
5. Pass the Ribbon on to five other bloggers.  (Leave them a comment to notify them of this.)

1. Done. There are the rules. See. Right there. Just above this part. 

2. My five most fabulous moments:

1. The first that comes to mind is the first time I realized that my love and what I felt toward my newborn baby transcended anything else and that I felt it physically in my chest. It felt like pain and warmth together and in that moment I knew I would forever be ruined.

2. Second only because it was my next thought - When I realized Mr. Favorite was committed to me beyond what I deserved and in spite of what I had done to "test" him.

3. When I found grace... not the version that comes with high judgment (that's not really grace anyway), but the kind that I'm learning even now - the kind that covers all... the kind that says even in my worst version of myself, that nothing can separate me from the Love of my Father God. 

• Romans 8:38-39 New International Version (NIV)  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,  neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

4.  The next fabulous moment that comes to mind is the day I woke up to a yard full of cellophane-wrapped diapers and wipes. It was the best baby shower EVER! My baby was almost 8 months old before I had to buy a single diaper for him. The fabulous part wasn't so much the diapers (except that it was fabulous), it was the time/effort/energy I knew had to go into making that moment happen for me. 

5.  I'm stuck. I can think of lots of moments, but they seem to all fit under one of the first four. If I can think of something else, I will come back.

3. Five things I love:

1. genuine friendship with God.

2. seeing people go from hurting and wounded to the true adventure and destiny for which they were designed

3. speaking light and life into situations & changing the atmosphere just by being my authentic self

4. wisdom

5. the gifts in my life (Mr. Favorite, all 3 babies, my family, my family that didn't come by blood, and the friends I've yet to meet).

4. Five things I hate:

1. I hate when people are mean or cruel to children. I get physically ill... I can no longer watch or read local news because of the onslaught of awful, awful things reported DAILY in our area that are being done to babies. 

2. I hate what judgment does to a person. 

3. I hate when people misrepresent me.

4. I hate when I miss opportunities.

5. I hate olives.

5. Pass the ribbon on... 

Here's the truth - I don't know many of the bloggers I follow, so I'm not sending them an award. I will, however, tell you which ones I think are worth a little look-see:

1. Mel - 'cause she's funny, honest, and because her babies are beautiful.

2. Kierste - 'cause she's got beautiful photographs of stuff she does - simple and lovely all at once.

3. Joye - 'cause she's a lover of Jesus, too... and she's about to have another baby girl, so there's going to be baby pics soon.

4. Amanda - 'cause I know her and her photography is amazing (featured in national magazines kind of fabulous)

5. Rebecca - 'cause she lives with her husband and 3 kids in a nation near the Mediterranean Sea and is practicing being content.