Melodic Physics

The very, very little I understand about particles and physics fascinates me... I'm not going to embarrass myself by trying to communicate what I've read because it is so far beyond the way my brain thinks, but THIS I get -

A particle has a signature and this specific particle has been the long-searched-for key to so much that physicists have been trying to unlock... and the signature has a sound - a delightful sound... It sounds like joy.

Go have a little listen:
http://soundcloud.com/theatlantictech/higgs-boson-atlas

a clever title about free ebooks

See, I am growing... It wasn't long ago that I would have not posted a blog because I'd get stuck wishing for a clever title for this post. I've grown past that now and know that content today is more important than the title.

Here is the beautiful thing I want to share with you: Amazon lists ebooks for free for a short period of time every day. There are sites that track which books are free so you don't even have to search! Since I'm a new-ish owner of a Kindle Fire and consume books like I drink Dr. Pepper (except I don't keep it in my house anymore), I've come to really appreciate this service since my budget simply cannot keep up with my reading habit.

I think these are all related somehow, but they have different books listed each day (some even morning, afternoon, and evening!).

Pixel of Ink - All kinds of books 

Pixel of Ink - Young Edition - This has been great for books for the boys. The books are categorized for age appropriateness.

Power Reads - This is a resource for non-fiction. I've enjoyed it very much!

Inspired Reads - This one lists Christian ebooks, both fiction and non-fiction.

There's also one for cookbooks - if I can find the link again, I'll update here.
EDITED TO ADD: I found it! - Dining Downloads

ENJOY! Reading is a gift!

Big is 4!

Tomorrow marks Big's 4th birthday. I'm feeling very undone over just how sweet he has made my world. I watch him observe and pick up the nuances in things going on around him. I'm still amazed that he's obedient like he is, that he responds so well, and that he loves to learn - and watches for the correct way. I remember being pregnant with him and talking to my swollen belly, telling him I didn't know how to be a mom, but he didn't know how to be a son either and that we would learn together. My heart breaks knowing I've made wrong choices, responded sharply, been impatient, fallen short, but I've also already repented to him and shown how to make things right. I've drawn him to me and told him how much I love being his momma, that he is kind and beautiful, and that I'm so proud of him. That he is my son, in whom my heart delights, marked by my love, and in him I am well pleased.

if i'm going to do it...

The thing that makes blogs fun to read is when they're regularly updated. My blog = unfun. That's a word.

This has been a sweet, sweet day. I had lunch with a woman who is so transparent and beautiful and generous and merciful all at once. Her story is one of the purest accounts of how Papa God really does love us and draws us to him.

And in talking to her I felt my heart being known. I've craved that so much - the true connection of friend to friend with no judgment, in the realness of life.

I'm committed to the journey of the destiny set before me. I am getting small glimpses of the big picture and I want to be my authentic self.

That may be all I have today, but it is more than I wrote 2 days ago.

it's her fault.

Anyone who knows me at all knows that I learned a long time ago that one cannot be manipulated unless one chooses to be manipulated. So, let's be clear... this interruption to my almost year-long hiatus in blogging is not because she manipulated me with an award - thankyouverymuch - but because I love her. Who knows why... 

You can go see just how fun she is right here at her blog (she's got the second most beautiful couple of boys - mine being numero uno). Apparently she thinks I'm fabulous and wants to know more about me.

The "Rules":

1. Post the rules on your blog.
2. Name five of your most fabulous moments, either in real life or in the blogosphere.
3. Name five things you love.
4. Name five things you hate.
5. Pass the Ribbon on to five other bloggers.  (Leave them a comment to notify them of this.)

1. Done. There are the rules. See. Right there. Just above this part. 

2. My five most fabulous moments:

1. The first that comes to mind is the first time I realized that my love and what I felt toward my newborn baby transcended anything else and that I felt it physically in my chest. It felt like pain and warmth together and in that moment I knew I would forever be ruined.

2. Second only because it was my next thought - When I realized Mr. Favorite was committed to me beyond what I deserved and in spite of what I had done to "test" him.

3. When I found grace... not the version that comes with high judgment (that's not really grace anyway), but the kind that I'm learning even now - the kind that covers all... the kind that says even in my worst version of myself, that nothing can separate me from the Love of my Father God. 

• Romans 8:38-39 New International Version (NIV)  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,  neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

4.  The next fabulous moment that comes to mind is the day I woke up to a yard full of cellophane-wrapped diapers and wipes. It was the best baby shower EVER! My baby was almost 8 months old before I had to buy a single diaper for him. The fabulous part wasn't so much the diapers (except that it was fabulous), it was the time/effort/energy I knew had to go into making that moment happen for me. 

5.  I'm stuck. I can think of lots of moments, but they seem to all fit under one of the first four. If I can think of something else, I will come back.

3. Five things I love:

1. genuine friendship with God.

2. seeing people go from hurting and wounded to the true adventure and destiny for which they were designed

3. speaking light and life into situations & changing the atmosphere just by being my authentic self

4. wisdom

5. the gifts in my life (Mr. Favorite, all 3 babies, my family, my family that didn't come by blood, and the friends I've yet to meet).

4. Five things I hate:

1. I hate when people are mean or cruel to children. I get physically ill... I can no longer watch or read local news because of the onslaught of awful, awful things reported DAILY in our area that are being done to babies. 

2. I hate what judgment does to a person. 

3. I hate when people misrepresent me.

4. I hate when I miss opportunities.

5. I hate olives.

5. Pass the ribbon on... 

Here's the truth - I don't know many of the bloggers I follow, so I'm not sending them an award. I will, however, tell you which ones I think are worth a little look-see:

1. Mel - 'cause she's funny, honest, and because her babies are beautiful.

2. Kierste - 'cause she's got beautiful photographs of stuff she does - simple and lovely all at once.

3. Joye - 'cause she's a lover of Jesus, too... and she's about to have another baby girl, so there's going to be baby pics soon.

4. Amanda - 'cause I know her and her photography is amazing (featured in national magazines kind of fabulous)

5. Rebecca - 'cause she lives with her husband and 3 kids in a nation near the Mediterranean Sea and is practicing being content.

Thunder Dog - A book review

Thunder Dog, The True Story of A Blind Man, His Guide Dog & The Triumph of Trust at Ground Zero, by Michael Hingson with Susy Flory, is a great, easy to read narrative of a beautiful testimony of God preparing a man - and in this case - his dog, for a moment in time. Michael was born blind to parents who, against the common thought at that time and advice from contemporary physicians, chose to help Michael learn to live in the world rather than escape it. Michael tells the story of how he and his guide dog made it out of his office on the 78^th floor of the North Tower of the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001 while interweaving the day’s events with the moments throughout his life that gave him the skills and chutzpah to walk away from tragedy just moments before the towers collapsed.

Ten years later, I am still fascinated by people’s stories who were touched directly by the events of September 11^th. I read the book and enjoyed the portions about that particular day very much; however, the portions of the book that were about Michael’s life leading up to that day were sometimes laborious. I can certainly see their importance, but I simply grew uninterested after a while.

I received this book free of charge in exchange for an honest review.

Young Once.

Something is on my mind and I thought it might be worth hashing it out here.

Of my grandparents, I have only my grandmothers remaining alive. One is being cared for in a nursing home as she is living with advanced Alzheimer's disease. As sad as it is, my heart doesn't hurt over her because she is as happy as can be. She doesn't realize what's going on around her and just seems so pleased with everything. She's become sweeter and sweeter with the progression of her disease. I just don't worry about her. I said goodbye to her long ago when she still knew who I was.

The other grandmother is sharp as a tack mentally, but has been living in her own home with a Parkinson's diagnosis for 16 years. People with that diagnosis do well to live 11 years with it. She's done well... and now she's not doing well at all. I think what is so unsettling to me is that I know with all her will she wants to be independent, but that is not her story right now. She casually mentioned in a recent phone conversation that she had driven over to my aunt's and found that she was not able to command her legs to move anymore. This happens often, but she's never let it be known that it happens while she is driving. I had honestly not ever thought about it... like the issues she had were magically cured being behind the wheel... This is not good. I immediately realized that she could be driving along and need to brake, but her legs not obey her mental commands. I'm scared. I didn't realize that the friend she had who was supposed to be checking on her had now just gone ahead and moved in because she cannot be alone, but even that is not enough now. It breaks my heart because mentally, she is so sharp. She has always been a strong woman (read: strong-willed woman), but it has become a matter of safety to herself and others that she have additional levels of care.

As I followed rabbit trails through the internet trying to research options for my grandma, I kept seeing pitiful pictures of elderly people. One in particular caught my attention and as I stared at her image, as I looked at her clear, blue eyes, I couldn't help feeling like I was hearing the younger version of her telling me, "I was young once".