growth vs. protection

I recently learned something fascinating about cells. Every cell in a person's body is in one of two states. It is either in a state of growth or protection. Emotions can trigger chemical responses which connect to receptors on the cell wall to tell that cell which state is appropriate. When a cell is in a state of protection, it shuts down growth, thereby stunting its own health.

Now translate all that into relationships...

For me, growth is awesome. I love it. I love forward motion. I love learning. But I have noticed that when I am stuck in protection mode in relationships, my growth is stunted. I've heard it said, "What gets your focus gets you" and it is true. If I focus on what is wrong in the relationship or the situation, I am overcome... So I am making a choice, even right this minute, to look for what is honorable and to drag that to the surface. That is what I want to settle my focus on.

And, because I love reading and sharing what I've learned... If you're interested in living in relationships that are based on honoring one another, check out Danny & Sheri Silk's website Loving On Purpose. What I have learned from them has changed my life and made me a better momma to my boys.

Manifesto

2013 is hott. Just like that. The amount of growth and beauty and joy and laughter I have experienced in the first 27 days of this year has been balm to my weary soul. It wasn't that I was dreading 2013, but I didn't have a sense of what was on God's heart for me in this year until it actually happened. It is like for the last few years I have been fighting the tide to keep my heart centered on Love, but 2013 hit and it is like I am so immersed in it that I don't have to fight for footing anymore.

I am lit up from the inside out.

So, instead of just being happy that life is sweet and joy rests on me, I want to put words and framework to what I'm feeling and how I want it to affect every person I meet, especially those that live with me and in direct relationships.

I want to write out a manifesto.

I want a declaration of my intent.

I don't have it all thought out, but it starts with this:

L O V E

I want to be so saturated (dripping) with the Love of the Father that any person who comes into contact with me, even from a distance, will be met with a deeper revelation of the Father's generous, passionate, furious love (and if the word "furious" throws you a bit, check out Brennan Manning's The Furious Longing of God).

So, that's where I am. I feel so stinkin' rich right now. I am grateful.

Grandma Dot

Tonight I am celebrating my sweet Grandma Dorothy. After many years of fighting all that comes with an Alzheimer's diagnosis, she finally is free.

I love that my sweet little Baptist grandma was met with Love face to face... No more pain, neither physical nor emotional. No more worry. No more of anything less than complete peace and joy.

I said goodbye to my grandma several years ago when she no longer knew me. I was just a sweet girl to her. I have a mental picture in my head of the last time I saw her. I'm so glad it is of her standing on the porch waving goodbye all dressed up with her hair fixed just right. She looks so healthy in my memory.

Melodic Physics

The very, very little I understand about particles and physics fascinates me... I'm not going to embarrass myself by trying to communicate what I've read because it is so far beyond the way my brain thinks, but THIS I get -

A particle has a signature and this specific particle has been the long-searched-for key to so much that physicists have been trying to unlock... and the signature has a sound - a delightful sound... It sounds like joy.

Go have a little listen:
http://soundcloud.com/theatlantictech/higgs-boson-atlas

a clever title about free ebooks

See, I am growing... It wasn't long ago that I would have not posted a blog because I'd get stuck wishing for a clever title for this post. I've grown past that now and know that content today is more important than the title.

Here is the beautiful thing I want to share with you: Amazon lists ebooks for free for a short period of time every day. There are sites that track which books are free so you don't even have to search! Since I'm a new-ish owner of a Kindle Fire and consume books like I drink Dr. Pepper (except I don't keep it in my house anymore), I've come to really appreciate this service since my budget simply cannot keep up with my reading habit.

I think these are all related somehow, but they have different books listed each day (some even morning, afternoon, and evening!).

Pixel of Ink - All kinds of books 

Pixel of Ink - Young Edition - This has been great for books for the boys. The books are categorized for age appropriateness.

Power Reads - This is a resource for non-fiction. I've enjoyed it very much!

Inspired Reads - This one lists Christian ebooks, both fiction and non-fiction.

There's also one for cookbooks - if I can find the link again, I'll update here.
EDITED TO ADD: I found it! - Dining Downloads

ENJOY! Reading is a gift!

Big is 4!

Tomorrow marks Big's 4th birthday. I'm feeling very undone over just how sweet he has made my world. I watch him observe and pick up the nuances in things going on around him. I'm still amazed that he's obedient like he is, that he responds so well, and that he loves to learn - and watches for the correct way. I remember being pregnant with him and talking to my swollen belly, telling him I didn't know how to be a mom, but he didn't know how to be a son either and that we would learn together. My heart breaks knowing I've made wrong choices, responded sharply, been impatient, fallen short, but I've also already repented to him and shown how to make things right. I've drawn him to me and told him how much I love being his momma, that he is kind and beautiful, and that I'm so proud of him. That he is my son, in whom my heart delights, marked by my love, and in him I am well pleased.

if i'm going to do it...

The thing that makes blogs fun to read is when they're regularly updated. My blog = unfun. That's a word.

This has been a sweet, sweet day. I had lunch with a woman who is so transparent and beautiful and generous and merciful all at once. Her story is one of the purest accounts of how Papa God really does love us and draws us to him.

And in talking to her I felt my heart being known. I've craved that so much - the true connection of friend to friend with no judgment, in the realness of life.

I'm committed to the journey of the destiny set before me. I am getting small glimpses of the big picture and I want to be my authentic self.

That may be all I have today, but it is more than I wrote 2 days ago.