Young Once.

Something is on my mind and I thought it might be worth hashing it out here.

Of my grandparents, I have only my grandmothers remaining alive. One is being cared for in a nursing home as she is living with advanced Alzheimer's disease. As sad as it is, my heart doesn't hurt over her because she is as happy as can be. She doesn't realize what's going on around her and just seems so pleased with everything. She's become sweeter and sweeter with the progression of her disease. I just don't worry about her. I said goodbye to her long ago when she still knew who I was.

The other grandmother is sharp as a tack mentally, but has been living in her own home with a Parkinson's diagnosis for 16 years. People with that diagnosis do well to live 11 years with it. She's done well... and now she's not doing well at all. I think what is so unsettling to me is that I know with all her will she wants to be independent, but that is not her story right now. She casually mentioned in a recent phone conversation that she had driven over to my aunt's and found that she was not able to command her legs to move anymore. This happens often, but she's never let it be known that it happens while she is driving. I had honestly not ever thought about it... like the issues she had were magically cured being behind the wheel... This is not good. I immediately realized that she could be driving along and need to brake, but her legs not obey her mental commands. I'm scared. I didn't realize that the friend she had who was supposed to be checking on her had now just gone ahead and moved in because she cannot be alone, but even that is not enough now. It breaks my heart because mentally, she is so sharp. She has always been a strong woman (read: strong-willed woman), but it has become a matter of safety to herself and others that she have additional levels of care.

As I followed rabbit trails through the internet trying to research options for my grandma, I kept seeing pitiful pictures of elderly people. One in particular caught my attention and as I stared at her image, as I looked at her clear, blue eyes, I couldn't help feeling like I was hearing the younger version of her telling me, "I was young once".

Book Review: A Place Called Blessing by John Trent, PhD and Annette Smith

Here is another review for a book I've enjoyed from www.booksneeze.com.

A Place Called Blessing by John Trent, PhD with Annette Smith is a simple, yet powerful narrative of a young man’s journey from hurt and abandonment through love to healing. Through tragedy that was not his fault, the boy took on guilt and shame that plagued him throughout his teen years and threatened to blacken the rest of his life. Circumstances led him as a young adult into a friendship with a woman and her son who showed him what genuine kindness, trust, and love can be like. The story even has a bit of a twist that adds to the depth of the characters.

I liked the book very much. I had it finished in a little over a day as it is an enjoyable and easy read even though the underlying message is very compelling. I found myself wanting to know what would happen next and turning page after page. The author does a great job weaving the characters’ lives together in a believable manner as well as maintaining the integrity of the story line. I would absolutely recommend this sweet little novel to friends who enjoy reading fiction - especially fiction with a moral to the story.

The Penny Story

I remembered this the other day and thought it worthy of sharing...

Several years ago, I had taken a nap (completely irrelevant, but I'm not sure how else to start this story). As I got out of bed, I saw a penny on the bedside table that was gross with gunk and even a little misshaped because it was dented. I was surprised just how yuck I thought it was, but the Lord immediately spoke something really cool to my heart. I heard two things about how God loves us. The first was that no matter how much gunk and gross stuff or even how dented and bruised we are, none of that changes 1. the value we hold or 2. the purpose for which we were created.

So if you're feeling less than perfect today...

If you're feeling unworthy today...

If you're hearing that you've got too much gunk...

If you're hearing that your dents and bruises are too damaging...

Hear what God says about you: Ephesians 2:10 says

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

No matter what you've been through - whether by your choice or someone else's - God says you're His masterpiece and He has provided a way through Christ Jesus for you to become new.

The value you hold and the purpose for which you were created has not changed.

Free Books

In June of 2010, I was challenged to read a book a week. Frankly, I didn’t think this was a possible goal, but since then I’ve seen that not only is it possible, it is one of my favorite things I do with my time. After finishing my master’s degree, I didn’t care if I ever read anything again, but since I now read only what I want to read, it is a lot more fun! One might think I’d read only “fluff” stuff, but I’ve found that I’m adding in more difficult pieces as I go. (I just recently finished a work by a Nobel Prize winning physicist that pretty much blew my mind… but I finished it!) As you can imagine, reading a book a week could be a very expensive hobby, but I’ve either borrowed or purchased books on Amazon.com with one exception… and really the reason for this post.

I received Living Life in the Zone A 40-Day Spiritual Gameplan for Men by Kyle Rote and Joe Pettigrew from a website resource (www.booksneeze.com). They send free books to bloggers with the agreement that the reader will review the book and post the review on their blog as well as sites that sell the book. I chose this book because my husband is the defensive coordinator for our Christian school’s football team. I thought he might also enjoy it as a resource for inspiration to our little team. So, this is it. This is my review:

Living Life in the Zone A 40-Day Spiritual Gameplan for Men by Kyle Rote and Joe Pettigrew is a great resource for guys who are interested in sports and want to develop the discipline of daily devotions. The book is set up in daily bits of wisdom. Each day contains sections named in keeping with the sports theme, such as “Coach’s Corner” and “Game Plan”. Coach’s Corner begins each day’s devotional lesson with insight and explanation, helping to define what the focus for the day is. Game Plan is next with selected scriptures to help bring clarity on God’s heart toward that subject. Playmakers follows. This became a favorite for me as each day the “Playmaker” was a sports celebrity and gave examples out of their own personal experience with the issue of the day. The day’s devotion begins to wrap up with the section titled, “Time Out” in which the authors listed a few questions to help lead the reader in application of the day’s lesson. And, lastly there is the Assignment in which the reader is given a tangible “to-do” item.

What I appreciated most about this book is that it takes something that men enjoy and uses that as a vehicle for truth. A man reading through this book is sure to grow, not just spiritually, but also in his relationships. The chapters on family and marriage were especially encouraging to me – that men would be reading and applying the truths presented. Overall, I would recommend the book.

a fresh start

I'm thinking again..........

I was introduced to someone recently and moments into our first conversation had all sorts of things to say. I'm so careful in all of my relationships and maybe too much so. I'm thinking of just taking this opportunity with this person I don't know, to be really honest from the get-go and tell her what I really think from the very beginning. She doesn't know that I usually walk on eggshells. I'm usually great about being honest about myself and transparent with whatever is going on with me, but I have become so bland lately. Wonder what it would be like to just say what I am thinking? Is it cruel to go into a new friendship as an experiment?

When A Prodigal Returns.

I've got something swimming around in my head lately and I'm not sure what I think. I've been thinking what our response is to be when a prodigal son (or daughter) returns home. I think about the parable and the response of the father, that even through the son's protesting, the father calls for the robe and ring. The father completely accepts the prodigal. Truth is, I struggle with this... I don't know how to receive a person who has run away to do their own thing, who now wants to return. My tendency is to want them to "pay" in some way - or at minimum, they wouldn't be invited to the front of the line... Anyway, I know that we're to forgive as many times as we're asked, too, but where do boundaries come in and how do we guard against abuse?

Your thoughts?

Now Hiring.

Author's Note: Just to be clear, this really isn't the desperate plea that I'm afraid it is going to sound like... And, I'm not looking to be set up, so don't.

I want a friend.

I know that Mr. Favorite is my closest and best friend, but I really would like to have a friend who is a girl. There are some things that I want to talk about that I know would be great fun to really hash out with another woman. I've found that I don't want just any friend, either. I think people would look at me and think I have lots of friends, and I do, but the relationship goes only so deep or they're really tied up and busy with lots of other stuff. I don't want to feel like I'm a burden or inconvenience. I think I'm also weary from overestimating my friendships.... Here's the truth: Seven years ago, I really wasn't worthy of being a friend. I was super self-absorbed and very selfish. I didn't know I wasn't friend-worthy until I was left out of a birthday party at which all of the girls I considered friends were in attendance. I was 26 or 27 years old and my feelings were hurt like I was in grade school. I sat at my desk and cried. I asked the Lord why I didn't have any friends and he showed me immediately that I had not acted like a friend. So for the last 7 years I have been working and working at being a better friend and a better person all around. I know that I'm a good friend now. I am kind and considerate and I care very deeply... It just seems that there is no friend for me.

Anyway, I read on someone's facebook wall-to-wall message that she had been talking to her mom and said, "I wish I had a friend like me" and I thought to myself that she said what I was thinking. I wish I had a friend like me.